04 December 2015

Hello, my name is...

Today I feel defeated. (Dec. 3, 2015) I feel like this is never going to happen for us. I cry out to God and I know that He hears me. But, why doesn't he answer me?

In case you don't already know DH and I are trying to have children. It's not happening naturally so, we went to see why. Well, long story short-I don't ovulate. So there is nothing to fertilize there. 
I am effectively barren. Like Sarai and Elizabeth in the Bible. I wonder how they felt over the years. Did they cry like I have? Did they blame someone else? Did they ask God what they did wrong? I know that everyone has different responses to things that happen in their lives. 
Me, I've chosen to draw closer to God. I've cried and screamed, but in the end I have chosen to give it up to God. He knows best. And maybe we will never have biological children. That's ok too. We are looking into adopting, but we can't be doing the reproductive medicine and be trying to adopt at the same time. I think I'm going to do one, maybe 2 more months of this and then I'll be done. I'm not sure that my heart can take these people telling me that we have to do something else, some other drug, and on some other day. Some of them treat me like I don't understand when I just hang my head after I have found out that it, again, has not happened for us. My DH seems to bear it better than I. But, then again he's not the one on the hormone medications either. 

We know that Sarai laughed when the Lord told her that she was with child. At 90 years old,  God gave her a child. She lived to be 127, so it happened in God's time, not hers. But, she must have become bitter to laugh at God! I believe that I would have felt the same as she did. 

I gave my burdens to the Lord, because they were too heavy. But, because I am human sometimes I try to snatch them our of His hands, like an impatient child. I am learning to depend on Him fully and completely. 
I busy myself with quilt making, minimizing my life, and phasing out chemicals and trying to lead a healthier and more natural life. But, in the back of my mind I'm always wondering...will I ever? These are some verses that I hold close to my heart when I am feeling hopeless. Because there is hope in God and I can depend on Him. 

"Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior and my hope is in you all day long. " 
-Psalm 25:5
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds. " 
-James 1:2
"I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved. There my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices; my flesh also will rest in hope. For you will not leave my soul in Sheol, nor will you allow your Holy One see corruption. You will show me the path of life, in Your Presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore."
-Psalm 16:8-11




I am going back on my birthday, to see if anything has developed enough to go to phase 3, but I am choosing happiness, I am choosing to listen to the whispers of God. 

I'm not sure if you have ever heard of the song "Hello, my name is..." by Matthew West.
But, one of the verses really defines how I am feeling right now, and the reason that this post is titled thusly. These are the lyrics, I've included the whole song so you can understand the progression. Also, if you've never heard it give it a listen on youtube. I've underlined the verse that I'm feeling. But, the part after that verse is where I am striving so hard to be. Because I am a child of the one true King! 




Hello, my name is regret
I’m pretty sure we have met
Every single day of your life
I’m the whisper inside
That won’t let you forget

Hello, my name is defeat
I know you recognize me
Just when you think you can win
I’ll drag you right back down again
‘Til you’ve lost all belief 

Oh, these are the voices. Oh, these are the lies
And I have believed them for the very last time

Hello, my name is child of the one true King
I’ve been saved, I’ve been changed, I have been set free
"Amazing Grace" is the song I sing
Hello, my name is child of the one true King


I am no longer defined
By all the wreckage behind
The one who makes all things new
Has proven it’s true
Just take a look at my life

Hello, my name is child of the one true King
I've been saved, I've been changed, I have been set free
"Amazing Grace" is the song I sing
Hello, my name is child of the one true King

What love the Father has lavished upon us that we should be called His children
I am a child of the one true King

What love the Father has lavished upon us that we should be called His children

Hello, my name is child of the one true King
I've been saved, I've been changed, I have been set free
"Amazing Grace" is the song I sing
Hello, my name is child of the one true King

I am a child of the one true King

01 December 2015

Winter 2015 Project 333/37

Winter capsule wardrobes can be hard to do. Especially if you live somewhere cold (like I do.) I'm in Minnesota and by January and February, it will be in the negative degrees here. Sometimes I feel like I'm wearing all my clothing at once. But, then when I go inside a building people have the heat jacked all the way up like it's a summer day in the Bahamas. So, then I better have enough on underneath that I can take it off layer by layer.
When I lived in South Carolina I didn't really do layers. It was hot or it wasn't quite hot. The most I would need was a cardigan or a light jacket. The change has been hard for me. This is going to be my second winter here and I'm still not sure what to expect. Everyone said that last winter was mild, and I thought I was going to freeze somedays. This year I want to be prepared for it to be colder than it was last year. Since it's an "El Nino" year, it is quite possible that it will be another mild year. But, it doesn't hurt to be prepared anyways.

I don't like to add my accessories to my number because they are needed here.
I give myself those 3 extra things because I still struggle with keeping my wardrobe down to the 33-37 items and including jewelry and accessories. In the winter it gets pretty cold in Minnesota and I need a hat, scarf and mittens or gloves. Those are needs, not accessories. So I don't count them.

I talked about my color palette before, but I took out the extra grey and added white. I don't wear a lot of white, but I have a few things that I wanted to add into my capsule. I think I should have put white in the accents and switched my pinks, so that light pink was an accent and the cottage pink was a main color. Oh, well. I hope you get the idea still by seeing my little color picture.





The asterisk on the description means that those items are new this season. I just ordered the grey boots this week and they will take awhile to arrive. So, I'm without those for the time being. I've been thinking about getting them for several months and I looked for some like them around town, but with no luck. So, I splurged on them and I'm excited to see how they work out for my capsule. 

Winter 2015 Capsule Wardrobe

Blue Dress
Long sleeve Chambray 
Cottage pink plaid button-up
Navy henley

White linen w/ Navy accents
White linen button up




Cottage Pink wool skirt

light blue linen blouse
Navy stripe tee
Taupe linen tunic*
Zombie Love baseball tee
Navy polka dot  button-up

Mint tee

Grey tee

White tee



soft pink skinnies
Cottage Pink Skinnies
Dark Navy Jeans
Grey Pants
Taupe Pants





Multi colored sweater
Cottage Pink cardigan
Mint Sweater
Red Cashmere Sweater 
Taupe Wool Sweater




Long Sleeve Pink tee
Grey and Cottage pink cardigan

Black Ballet Flats*
Snow Boots
Navy Jeans
Grey pencil skirt-back view
Grey boots*


Custom Leather Boots
Wool Mittens
Grey Leather Purse*


Ear muffs
Winter Coat
Navy Blanket Scarf*



Blue and Green Knit Hat
Pastel Hat 


Assorted Scarves (I'm trying to let some go)





Thinking about adding


Cottage Pink Wool Fair Isle Pullover



Are you doing a winter capsule this year?